You think I look bad… you should see the other guy.

I have recently been struggling to find balance in my life as you sometimes do. I’ve had too many plates spinning. I found myself struggling with everything, relationships, my body was hating me, my mind was cluttered and I was far more emotionally erratic then normal.  At some point I made God  into the vague CEO that I work for, never seeing or talking or engaging with him in any shape or form.

But when you love the job and you love the people you say yes to all sorts of things and carry on because God is good and he works through all things. Until you can’t, you run out of steam. I hate to admit it but with all my plates spinning I took my eyes off of God and who he is. It’s no surprise that it caught up with me.

So for the last week I have been throwing myself into routine that forces me to spend time in God’s word for me, not for a lesson plan or for a sermon, but for me and my relationship with him.  I have scheduled time where all technology just gets turned off and I sit (sometimes sit, for some reason I am like a 5 year old and I find this really challenging).  I call this the Psalm 46:10 challenge.  ” Be still and Know that I am God…”   I also found that I need to take better care of my person, my body.  So I am going to the gym. I have this odd love for the gym actually; everyone just goes to this horrible sweat box trying to better themselves and I think that is really cool.  I have given myself the challenge to do 5 hours at the gym a week; of course this rewarded with a glass of wine if accomplished.  But last evening I found myself facing a real fight at the gym.

My earbuds broke on the way and so I had to listen to my music only through the one which was really pants because it meant I could hear all the grunting, and locker room talk and gossip flowing. I could tune that out though. It wasn’t until 8 mins in on the bike that I could hear the disagreements starting…  the two parties continued to contradict each other to the point that I had to wonder if they were looking at the same thing.

You see in the “let’s help Chelsi focus on God plan” even my music is chosen to encourage me to think about Christ.  But with my other ear left to listen to the world around me I was hearing two completely different things. I was hearing what God says about me  and the world in one ear and the other ear heard disturbing things like, ” Bossed up and I changed the game (you see me?), Got all them girls shook (shook), My big fat ass got all them boys hooked (Hooked)” (Finesse by Bruno Mars)

I have never been so acutely aware of the difference in messages we hear every day.

“I’ve been changed from a ruin to treasure
I’ve been given a hope and a future
I’ve been blessed beyond all measure” (Counting every Blessing by Rend Collective)

Just hearing Christian messages on Sunday you totally leave yourself vulnerable to the constant worldly dialogue. It is so easy to listen to what the world says and believe it. I should strive to be thin, to be rich… to be loved by men but God has a different message.  A message that you are loved already. When we become aware of this we can easily see what the devil’s schemes are how he lies to us. You are already loved by God. He wants you to be the best version of yourself by looking to him and let him lead you beside the still waters. (Pslam 23:3) He wants to give you peace and the desires of your heart.

At minute 10, I was fully aware that what the devil cant destroy he distracts and I’ve been well distracted and  I will be damned if I let him take me away from my truth.  I had the best workout I have had in ages and I have the sore muscles today to prove it.  Praised God with every bead of sweat that ran off me for his love that he tells me… I am enough. I belong. I  am loved. I am powerful. I am beautiful. I have his spirit and that he is bigger than the giants I face. (1 John 4:4) I powered through knowing my perseverance and focus on Christ kicked the Devil’s butt hard.

I walked out of the gym last night like I just won a gold medal knowing that God reigns victorious and that he is the king of my heart. I may have looked like a sweaty, tomato faced woman but I felt empowered.  If we get distracted from that our lives go wayward. We start to lose our purpose and start looking for validation from people and we don’t need that; God says who we are. He really knows us and loves us anyway.

Be on guard. Be aware and choose to listen to what God says about you it is much kinder than the world.

How awesome is our God. How amazing is his grace.